INVENTIVE INSULTS
We seem to have lost the art of the inventive insult; today's slurs seem, somewhat pathologically, to focus on the names of a limited number of body parts.
Below is a list of colourful barbs of the past which have fallen out of use, some of which are badly needed and warrant reinstitution.
abydocomist - a person who boasts about their lies
bedswerver - an adulterer
bespawler - one who spits and dribbles when speaking
blunderbuss - a blundering, unsubtle sort
bottle-conjuror - an unscrupulous fraud or charlatan; someone who never delivers on their promises
carbuncle - a rude, churlish undesirable
clack-box - an incessant chatterer
chuckle-head - a fool
clinchpoop - an uncouth youth
cockalorum - a vain, boastful, self-important, swaggering person
coxcomb - a vain, conceited sort
cumberworld - a completely useless person
driggle-draggle - a dirty, untidy sort
Duke-of-Limbs - a tall, awkward fellow
flibbertigibbet - a flighty, frivolous person; a gossip
foozle - an old fossil; fuddy-duddy
fop - a man of vain and foolish ostentation
fopdoodle - a silly and insignificant person
gnashnab - a chronic grumbler or nit-picker
gobermouch - a busybody
hobbledehoy - an awkward, gangly youth
huckster - someone who peddles their dubious products or services in a pushy, mendacious, an aggressive way
Jack-in-office - a petty, nit-picking official
hornswoggler- is a trickster; a crook
klazomaniac - one who can talk only by shouting
lickspittle - a fawning, sycophantic, obsequious type
lubberwort - a fuzzy-minded, lethargic individual
muckspout - someone who needs their mouth washed out with soap
mafflard - a bumbling, blundering fool
mammothrept - a spoilt, mollycoddled, immature young person who lacks good judgment or knowledge
mooncalf - a foolish, absentminded person
mumblecrust - someone toothless and rather mangy
mumpsimus - one who stubbornly makes mistakes while ignoring advice, instructions, or evidence that they are wrong
ninnyhammer - a simpleton; fool
nigard - stingy or ungenerous person
patzer - an inept chess player
pettifogger - an unscrupulous, underhanded, disreputable sort
pinchfart - a penny-pincher
poetaster - a poet whose skills leave a lot to be desired
poltroon - an utter coward
poppinjay - a conceited, superficial person
prickmedainty - a person who is preoccupied with their appearance
quisby - a layabout who shirks duties
raggabrash - a grubby and disorganised person
rakefire - a guest who outstays their welcome
rampallion - a scoundrel; rascal
rattlecap - an unsteady, volatile person
roiderbanks - one who lives extravagantly and beyond their means
saltimbanco - a snake oil salesperson, mountebank, or quack
sauce-box - a bold or forward person
scaramouch - a loud-mouthed coward
scobberlotcher - a layabout who avoids hard work at all costs
seek-sorrow - a self-tormentor or hypochondriac
shabbaroon - an ill-dressed shabby sort; a mean-spirited person
shot-clog - someone who always tags along, uninvited and unwanted
slug-a-bed - a sloth who cannot or will not get up in the morning
smell-feast - someone who has a gift for sniffing out a good dinner and pitching up uninvited; a freeloader
smellfungus - an inveterate complainer; one who delights in finding fault
sneaksby - a mean-spirited or sneaky sort
snollygoster - a person (often a politician) who is shrewd and entirely lacking in principles
snoutband - a know-it-all who constantly interupts to correct or contradict the speaker
spoony - foolish
stampcrab - a clumsy person (beware, crabs!)
stingbum - a stingy person
stumblebum - a clumsy, inept person
Stymphalist - a highly malodorous individual
tallowcatch - an extremely corpulent person
throttlebottom - an inocuously inept and ineffectual person who has somehow managed to achieve high office
tutilliver - a malicious liar; one who spins scandalous, damaging untruths
ultracrepidarian - someone quick to give unwanted opinions on subjects of which they have little or no knowledge
unlicked-cub - an uncouth, unmannerly young lout
whiffle-whaffle - a time waster
whoreson - an unpleasant, disagreeable person
word-grubbers - verbal critics or people who use hard words in common discourse
wrinkler - one prone to lying
zounderkite - a foolish person
Yours
Susan McKenna